


Wake Up

by AshVarnei



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feels, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Pepperony - Freeform, Team Bonding, clintasha - implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-21
Updated: 2012-08-21
Packaged: 2017-11-12 14:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/492348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshVarnei/pseuds/AshVarnei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pepper was taken to get to Tony. The Avengers rescued her, but only just. Waiting for her to wake up, Tony can't help but blame himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wake Up

**Author's Note:**

> This started as an RP with evacorvus on tumblr, who posted the original to her tumblr. I haven't really changed much, just the formatting and a few grammar and tenses issues. I played Tony, so anything from Tony's POV is mine, anything else is not.

Tony sighed, running a hand down his face. Pepper lay on the hospital bed in front of him, unmoving except for the shallow rise and fall of her chest that indicated she was breathing. The Doctors had said that she should wake up soon. He clasped her hand in his. It was all his fault... "Please wake up Pepper," he whispered thickly.

She didn't wake, just as she hadn't woken the other times he'd pleaded for it.

Natasha stood by the door, Pepper's closest friend, her arms crossed and leaning back against the wall. She was quiet, merely an observer until she was needed.

Tony leaned forward, arms resting on the edge of the bed as he tried to keep it together. But his brain kept thinking of all the terrible scenarios and outcomes that were caused by head traumas and it wasn't making him feel any better. Trying to distract himself his thoughts drifted back to what had happened earlier that day. Barely few hours ago, although it felt like longer. It felt like days had passed already, waiting here... If only he hadn't fallen for it, if he hadn't allowed he and the team to be tricked like that, then Pepper would be okay.

"I'm sorry, Pepper. I know it was my fault... but I need you. I... please wake up. Even if you hate me for it, please wake up. I need you to be okay..."

Still Pepper slept. She was in there, somewhere. She could hear his words, but she couldn't tell him so.

A little time passed before Natasha stepped forward to rest a hand of comfort on Tony's shoulder. "It's getting late... You should get yourself something to eat, maybe get cleaned up. I'll sit with her until you get back."

Tony jerked in surprise, shocked by the sudden appearance of the super-spy. Normally he would be angry that someone other than Pepper had seen him so close to losing it, but he couldn't bring himself to care right now.

He shook his head resolutely, refusing to let go of Pepper's hand. "I can't. I'm not leaving her again." He knew it was unreasonable of him, but when he'd left her that morning for a mission he'd come back to find her lost, and he couldn't help but fear that that would happen again.

"Tony," Natasha spoke gently, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You can't do anything for her if you wear yourself down. I know you know that. I'll stay with her. Nothing will happen, I give my word."

He shifted to stare at her, searching her. He trusted Natasha, now that they'd been on the same team for over a year, they'd gotten to know each other rather well. And she was friends with Pepper, somewhere deep inside he knew that she was probably hurting as well. He didn't want to but he nodded dimly, kissing Pepper's hand gently before letting go and standing up. "Alright," he rasped, "but if anything,  _anything_  changes, I get told, yeah?"

Natasha reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. "I will call you the moment anything changes. Now go. At least get some food, but you might want a shower, too." He likely hadn't cleaned up much since the incident, and there had been a lot of blood and sweat involved, even for the man in the iron suit. Natasha took the seat Tony had been occupied, keeping her phone in her hand and ready to dial at a moment's notice.

Tony nodded slowly. "Thanks," he murmured, trudging out of the room. In an effort to keep his brain busy he started making a mental inventory of his own injuries, but stopped when he started comparing them to Pepper's. Because that was just far too painful to think about.

()()()

He reached the canteen a few minutes later, grabbing a sandwich and a coffee and sliding into a seat in the corner of the room. He didn't let go of his phone.

"How is she...?" Bruce tentatively asked as he slid into the seat across from Tony. The rest of the team were there too, milling about in the canteen, all of them silent, a few exchanging silent glances. It was a solemn affair.

Tony didn't answer for a second, taking a long drink of coffee, trying to steel his nerves. "She's not woken up yet... nothing's changed." He sighed shakily, and looked back down at his cup. "Natasha ordered me to get some food. She's with Pepper."

"Good, good.. Well, not good that she's still out, but good that she hasn't gotten worse and that you're eating..." Bruce stumbled over his words before falling silent again.

Tony smiled wryly at his friend. "We should have been able to stop this," he mumbled. "What is the point of being a superhero if I can't even save my own damn girlfriend!" He was angry now, angry at himself. The others were staring at him as if he were crazy. Didn't they understand that if it wasn't for him Pepper wouldn't have been involved in this bloody mess?

They understood, some more than others. Thor and Clint in particular, though the latter had no chance of keeping the one he cared about out of harms way because she didn't want to be. Sometimes that was worse.

Bruce shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Well..." He was at a bit of a loss, searching for words. "You can still save the world... I don't think she'd want you to stop doing that on her account."

Tony grimaced, unable to reply to that. Sure, he knew that Pepper wouldn't want him to give up and stop saving people just because  _she_  could get hurt, but she was everything to him. While he knew there was little chance he would ever stop being Iron Man, he knew that if he ever had to choose between that and Pepper, he'd choose Pepper. But he wasn't about to say that out loud. "I know," he replied finally. He unwrapped the sandwich and started choking it down, avoiding the others' eyes.

A sad silence blanketed the group, each of them tired and worn from the day's events, but none of them ready to go home. They were a family, and Pepper had become something of a mother figure, doting on and caring for each and every one of them. They all wanted to see her pull through.

Tony jumped as the phone he'd been clasping desperately in his hand chirped loudly. He stared at it for a second, dread and hope building in side of him as he registered Natasha's ID on the screen. Standing up he lifted the phone to his ear shakily, already moving towards the exit. "What is it?" he asked roughly.

"She stopped breathing. She's fine, they've got her on a ventilator and she's breathing just fine with that..." Natasha's voice trailed off, reluctant to say any more. But she'd promised. "They... they don't know if she's going to make it."

Tony's heart sank as he raced out of the canteen, ignoring the questioning looks from the others. He took the stairs two at a time. "What happened? I thought she was stable?" he asked between breaths, his already battered body not thanking him for the sudden burst of movement. Please, let her be okay, he thought to himself as he ran. But Natasha's answer didn't give him much hope.

"I don't know. She just... stopped breathing. The doctor's don't have an answer, but they're working on it. She's stable again, but they don't know how long she'll need the respirator."

Tony nodded, forgetting she couldn't see him as he ran down the corridor, ignoring the strange looks he was getting from other agents. He finally reached Pepper's room, and stopped outside the door. He almost didn't want to go in and get the bad news, he dreaded finding Pepper in an even worse state. "Come on Stark," he muttered to himself, "get it together." He could hear worried voices from inside the room and pulled himself together, pushing the door open.

Natasha was talking with two doctors, but she was reluctant to say much until Tony returned. When he did, the doctors both turned to him. "Mr. Stark, we've found a lot of pressure building up in Miss Potts' brain. If we don't go in and relieve that pressure, it could cause some serious brain damage, and even death. However... it's a risky procedure, and not without its own risks, though minor." One of the doctors was holding a clip board with a form and pen on it, which he held out to Tony. "We need your consent to do the procedure."

Tony took the clipboard and pen from the guy, but didn't even look at it. "What are the risks?" he asked, looking the doctor in the eye. He needed to know the numbers before he made any sort of decision, he needed to know the variables. "I mean obviously it's less risky than just leaving it... but you mentioned risks."

"The risks are... much the same. Brain damage, possible death, but the likelihood of either of those happening is much less than if it were left. If we leave her be, I can almost guarantee one of the two, if not both, will happen."

Tony could feel the fear building inside him and he nodded. "You'd better get on with it then," he said hollowly, signing the form and handing it back. He gave the doctor a last look and stepped over to Pepper's bed, kissing her forehead gently.

"You're gonna be okay Potts. You've gotta be. I love you," he murmured. He stared at her for a second, memorising her before stepping back and striding out of the room without a second glance at any of its occupants. It was all too much for him to bear, and he needed to get out of there.

As the doctors and nurses packed Pepper up and got her ready to transfer to surgery, Natasha hurried to follow after Tony. She didn't know what to say, if there was anything she  _could_  say to make any of this any easier on him.

Tony didn't make it very far, slumping down against the wall on an abandoned corridor, his head in his hands. He was far too wrapped up in his thoughts and worries to notice Natasha following him. Finally he broke down, as the reality that Pepper was dying hit him hard. It was his fault. Pepper was incredibly close to death and it was his fault. He could lose her any second now. Tony's breath came in short gasps as he struggled and failed to hold the tears in.

Natasha slowed as she neared, then sank down to her knees beside him. Her arms wrapped around Tony and she pulled her to him, holding him tightly as she fought to hold back her own tears.

Tony tensed as he felt Natasha beside him, but he wasn't surprised really. He relaxed into her embrace, shoulders heaving. He dimly thought that he should say something but couldn't find the words. It was all too much. He didn't know how to process this, he'd never had to process anything like this... and his brain kept returning to the facts.

"It's my fault," he managed to say as he gasped for breath, ignoring the tears running down his face as he stared at the floor.

Natasha shushed him gently. "It's not your fault..."

Tony looked up at her, frowning. "Of course it is. I let myself be duped and she was taken. If she hadn't gotten involved with me in the first place she wouldn't have been taken..." He could hear footsteps coming towards them but he ignored them. "And now she's dying and it's my damned fault!"

"Tony. Listen to me. It's not your fault. If it hadn't been her, it would have been someone else. She knew what getting involved with you meant and she did it anyway because she  _loves_  you and she wouldn't want to see you kicking yourself over this. You didn't hurt her. They did. It's  _their_  fault." She glanced up to see who was coming towards them.

Tony shook his head at her words but didn't try to disagree with her. What she said made sense but he still didn't believe it. The footsteps stopped next to them and he looked up through red eyes to see the rest of the team standing there, looking incredibly concerned. Tony sighed and looked back down, leaving it to Natasha to explain. He couldn't, he just couldn't.

"They're taking Pepper to surgery, to relieve some swelling around her brain," she explained after a moment. "She'll be alright..." She gave Tony's shoulder a gentle squeeze as she said it.

"You don't know that." Tony replied slowly. He didn't look at the others, he didn't want to see their sympathy or their pity. He heard them sit down beside he and Natasha, someone, probably Bruce, putting a hand on his shoulder in comfort. Tony resisted the urge to shrug it off, to yell at them that they had no idea what he was going through so couldn't they just leave him alone. But truthfully he didn't want them to go. Because it did comfort him, knowing his team was here.

Natasha didn't have the heart to argue. As much as she wanted to comfort her friend and team mate, she didn't want it escalating into a fight and an argument. None of them needed that. Natasha, and the rest of the team, would sit with him in the hall as long as he wanted. The nurses and doctors and agents skirted around them, not one of them bold enough to tell them to move.

()()()

Eventually, a nurse cautiously approached them. "Mr. Stark? Ms. Potts is back in her room now. You can visit her if you like."

Tony was on his feet immediately, scrubbing at his face with one hand. He swallowed painfully, looking towards the nurse. "How is she?" he asked hoarsely, inwardly steeling himself for the worst.

"She's stable. It looks like we may even be able to take her off the ventilator by morning. She's still unconscious, though... There's no telling how long it will be until she wakes up."

Tony let out a shaky breath that he had no idea he'd been holding. She was gonna be okay. She was stable again, she'd made it through the operation. She had to be okay now. He nodded his thanks to the nurse and paused to look around at the others, smiling weakly at them before he walked off towards Pepper's room. He desperately hoped that nothing else was gonna happen now. He didn't think he could deal with anything else right now.

The others gave him a nod of encouragement before he disappeared. They would return to the waiting room and, of course, wait. It was going to be a long night. Natasha hesitated, before leaving with the others.

()()()

Tony pushed the door open carefully. There was still a doctor bustling around inside the room, but he didn't take any notice of Tony, so Tony returned the favour. Pepper lay as still as before on the bed, but slightly paler, with a fresh layer of bandages around her head. She looked so delicate, so vulnerable just lying there, wires and tubes running in and out of her. Tony sighed and sat down beside the bed to wait, finally looking up at the doctor. "What have you got for me, doc?" he asked, forcing an attempt at his usual nonchalance, despite his tear stained, desperate appearance.

"We're running some tests, but right now I'm afraid it's just a waiting game. We've done pretty much all we can at this point. Now it's up to her." The doctor nodded solemnly at Pepper.

Tony nodded slowly, his gaze shifting back to Pepper. "Thanks," he said quietly. Tony waited until the guy had left the room, before shuffling the chair forward so that he was closer to the bed, taking Pepper's hand in his own once more. "So we're just waiting for you now Pepper. That's new. I never have to wait for you, normally it's the other way around." He managed a watery chuckle, his gaze not leaving Pepper's face in hope that she would respond and wake up. The words he hadn't been able to get out earlier came tumbling out now. "I need you Pepper. You know that. You said it yourself, that I wouldn't be able to survive a day without you. You're all I have, and I don't even know what I'd do if I lost you now. You're... I love you... so much..."

She heard him. She would smile, if she could. She wished she could. Throughout the night, she was silent and still, the machines doing all her breathing, making constant, regular beeping sounds that sort of drowned into the background. Sometime in the wee hours of the morning they unhooked her from the ventilator so she could breathe on her own.

**()()()**

Tony had eventually fallen asleep, torso slumped over the side of Pepper's bed. The doctors hadn't had the heart to wake him, although it would probably have been better if they had, as Tony's dreams moved to the events of the day...

...the discovery that the early morning mission that the team had been sent on had been a distraction, coming back to the tower to find it ransacked and Pepper missing, the frantic search across the state, the incredibly lucky discovery of where they were hiding her, the fight, the fire, explosions and pain and Pepper...

Tony woke in a cold sweat, the room dimly lit by the machines that continued to bleep, and broke down once more at the sight of Pepper, lying so still, breathing shallow. He couldn't cope. Not without Pepper. He struggled with himself, vaguely attempting to get himself under control, but couldn't. He could feel the guilt and the hope and the stress and the turmoil of emotions inside of him, tumbling around and he had no way of stopping it.

"Tony..."

His head jerked up from where it had been resting on his arms. His breath caught in his throat as he realised that no-one had entered the room. He looked up at Pepper, hardly daring to breath as he hoped against hope that he hadn't imagined the voice... "Pepper?"

She was quiet, and still... until her fingers twitched, and her hand slowly lifted a few inches from the bed, reaching out to him. Tony was on his feet in an instant, standing over her and gently clasping her hand.

"Pepper? Come on Pepper, you're okay, you're safe, you're gonna be okay..." he murmured over and over as she woke up slowly. He didn't take his gaze off of her, his hand moving to softly cup her face.

"Tony..." she whispered his name as her eyes slowly opened, focusing on his face. "I love you too..."

Tony smiled, the first genuine smile all day. He leant down slowly and kissed her, gently and chastely, pouring love and meaning into it. She raised her head slightly to meet his kiss before dropping back onto the pillow. "I'm sorry," he whispered, rubbing his thumb across her cheekbone.

"Stop it... It wasn't your fault..."

"I... it was though. They only took you to get to me, you'd be safe and sound if it wasn't for me." He knew that he really shouldn't be arguing with her in this state but he couldn't help it... because it was true. Whatever anyone else tried to tell him, he would always blame himself for this.

"Tony... Tony... Listen to me..." She closed her eyes a moment, a long moment, to collect her thoughts. "I knew... I knew what I was getting myself into... I don't blame you. And you shouldn't either..."

Tony just smiled grimly and changed the subject. "Are you feeling okay? Do you want me to call a doctor in... huh, I should probably call the others... they were pretty worried too..." He shut himself up, telling himself to stop rambling.

"I'm fine... It can wait a few minutes..." She soaked in the peace and quiet, because she knew it wouldn't last. "I want a vacation when this is all over. A real one."

Tony didn't even try to stop the smile that was creeping onto his face, a giddy feeling of elation that Pepper was okay and she was going to get better filling him. "Wherever you want to go, I promise. I'll even bar all communications, no interruptions. Just the two of us. How does that sound?"

"Sounds good..." She smiled a little, letting her eyes close again. She didn't sleep, but she rested. The painkillers fed through her IV were doing their job, keeping the pain at bay and making her drowsy.

"Yeah..." He could barely believe that this was actually happening, that she'd actually woken up. He'd been hoping and worrying so hard... it was hard to believe that it was barely 24 hours since this whole thing had started. "I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't woken up," he murmured, perching on the side of her bed, unwilling to move further away.

"You would have fallen about..." It wasn't her ego that spoke those words, either. It was grim truth. "Sshhh..." She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "No more talking like that. Just wait. Soon we'll be sitting on a beach in Maui sipping mai tais..."

Tony grinned at the image. But it was hard to imagine that that would be soon, not right now, with Pepper looking so delicate and hurt, machines keeping her alive. "Soon," he whispered, more to himself. "Just... don't do that to me again, Potts. I was far too close to losing you." He could barely imagine that this was what Pepper felt every time he was injured on a mission. This level of worry and hurt on a regular basis... "I love you, so much."

"I'll try not to..." She chuckled a little, which made her wince. "I'll leave all the crime fighting and life saving to you from now on." Pepper smiled, despite the dull ache she felt all over. "I love you, too. Now go get a shower," she teased, with a smirk.

Tony grimaced. "Probably a good idea." He leant down to kiss her quickly before pressing a button to call the doctor. "And you get the pleasure of the doctors hovering around you while I'm gone." He walked towards the door, then paused. "Don't do anything while I'm away, will you Potts?"

"I'll try not to. Send in Natasha? I'm sure she'll keep me out of trouble while you're gone. Or get me into it. Whichever." She chuckled again, easier this time, amused with herself.

Tony nodded, still smiling and disappeared out of the door.

The hallway outside was dark and he tripped over something, not looking where he was going. He cursed, stumbling, grabbing the wall to keep himself upright. Looking down, he noticed the rest of the team camped out outside, stretched against various walls, evidently having fallen asleep waiting for news. He seemed to have woken them up though, all coming awake fairly quickly thanks to their paranoid nature.

"How is she?" Natasha was the first to speak, lifting her head from Clint's shoulder.

"She's good. She's awake." Tony was grinning widely now, unable to control the elation he was feeling at being able to say those words.

"Good," Natasha said with a sigh of relief. "So what are you doing out here?"

"She sent me to get a shower," he admitted. He knew he needed one... he hadn't actually washed since the battle and he must both smell and look a wreck thanks to his breakdowns earlier. "She also sent for you to keep her company," he added with a teasing look. He glanced around at the others, and turned to walk away, before turning back. "And guys... thanks," he said softly, joking aside. He didn't specify anything, but he knew they'd understand.

They understood. Natasha got to her feet and went into Pepper's room. Once the doctor had been by to see her and gave them the okay, the others came in to see her. They were all crammed into that tiny hospital room when Tony returned. Most of the tubes and wires attached to Pepper were gone, leaving only the IV in her arm.

**()()()**

Half an hour later Tony returned, still smiling giddily and freaking out any agents that he passed. He pushed the door open and paused. The whole team were sat in the room, perched on the windowsill and slouching against walls. His gaze focused in on Pepper, who was smiling, most of the machines gone, the bed elevated so that she was almost sitting up. He blinked. "I see you've been invaded."

Pepper grinned as he re-entered reaching a hand out to him and motioning him to come closer. "I have. It's not nearly as bad as it looks."

He stepped towards the bed, perching on it next to Pepper as Bruce had stolen the chair. He settled in comfortably, an arm around Pepper. "It could be worse, I suppose." He mock-scowled at the others. Clint and Bruce managed to look mock-offended in return. Tony relaxed happily, relieved and content. A comfortable, companionable silence filled the room.

A minute or so later, Pepper looked up at Tony, a twinkle in her eye. "Marry me."

Tony froze, staring down at her. "I... you... what!" he yelped, eyes wide, hand gripping the edge of the bed tightly.

"Marry me," she repeated, trying not to smirk to much at this discomfort. A wave of hushed snickering passed through the room. Tony's mouth opened and closed of its own accord once or twice as his brain tried to catch up. "I... sure... but..." he looked around the room helplessly before his gaze returned to Pepper. He took a deep breath and tried to take it all in his stride. "I mean, aren't I supposed to be the one who asks you that?"

"If I waited, do you really think you would?" She raised a brow, giving him a knowing look. Life was short, she knew that now. So she had to take what she wanted.

Tony frowned. That was probably true, but... "I don't deserve you," he replied softly.

"I know." She grinned. "But you're stuck with me anyway."

Tony shook his head, clearing his thoughts. He sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. This day was turning out to be hell on his emotions. "You're gonna give me a heart attack one of these days if you keep dropping shocks like that."

"I guess now would be a horrible time to tell you I'm pregnant." A hush fell over the room. "... I'm kidding!"

Tony, who had frozen in shock once more glared down at his girlfriend... fiancée "That, was not funny." he managed, barely able to get the words out. "Seriously Potts, my emotions are going haywire. You're gonna, I dunno, overload the reactor or something."

"I thought it was funny," Steve muttered. Tony glared at him. Pepper chuckled softly as she gave his hand a pat. "I'm done teasing. For now."

"Thank you." He relaxed again. "So did the doctor say when you could leave? Cos if it's not soon, I think we're gonna have to get a bigger room, or at least some more chairs..."

Laughter filled the room, easing a lot of the tension. "A few days." Pepper replied, "But I expect each and every one of you to go home, get at least one good meal, a shower, and sleep before I see any of you in here again." She waggled her finger at the room in general, becoming Mama Potts again.

A general murmur of consent went around the room, but Tony frowned. "Not all at the same time though." Sure, the SHIELD hospital was supposed to be secure, but so was the tower, and Tony was not going to leave Pepper without at least one avenger to keep an eye out.

"I think we can handle that."

Tony smiled as the others started talking, the hum of conversation washing over him as he gazed at Pepper in contentment. He'd come so close to losing her... never again.


End file.
